forgive and forget

Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting. i hate you, i loathe you and i abhor you. i'm not a good liar. i have no idea why i still give in, still bother to give a listening ear and still dare to entertain your nonsense. hahas.

i can never be hostile towards you.

tears just trickled down my cheeks as i was chatting with you over the phone as we reminisced about the past. i miss those cheerful moments where you were the only one who could make me laugh till my jaw hurt real bad and i would be so reluctant to hang up the phone. i miss those times where i would miss you every single second.

i could remember vividly, weeping like a baby in front of my laptop as i browsed your photos with her. it felt as though my heart was being ripped off my chest. my mind went blank. i did everything i could to salvage the relationship. when you moved on, i told myself that if i do really love you, let you go so that you could be in bliss. it was so difficult to focus. i lost my life.

my girlfriend, syra has been my pillar of strength, consoling me and motivating me to carry on with life. i will never forget that babe. I LOVE YOU LA to the power of infinity (:

truthfully, i was exhausted. i didn't get sufficient slumber that night. i don't know why i felt like answering your call, maybe because i know it is just once in a blue moon to hear your voice. and it sure was awkward when the topic of dicussion is no longer US. i have accepted the harsh reality months ago.

i hope you appreciate for whatever i've done and cherish whatever we had. i don't why i got so emotive each time i talked about you.

i'm proud of myself for being able to overcome this huge obstacle and shared with you everything that i truly felt.

on the flipside, i'm totally disappointed with my prelims results. i flunked my subjects and only managed to pass two subjects. what a disgrace i must say. i have 2 months left. i'm on the verge of giving up like seriously, sighs ): whatever it is, i will try my best.

it's weird on how i can actually make someone else feel so much better. i wish there is another me so that i myself can talk openly with her/him. lols. i'm a strong girl indeed.