off the chest . for you MABZA

my head's spinning ): temperature kept fluctuating and it peaked at 39.3. i couldn't stop crying and worst still i was alone at home. that's why i hate having circuit revision under the scorching sun. it was shooting its merciless rays directly at me, making me feel giddy. i did so badly during the revision. and i can never ace the CRANK COURSE! fuck it man. i kept changing bikes.

my knuckles hurt too ):

quite a lengthy post. have been keeping to myself lately. strange, queer, bizarre and odd that i actually cried because i so miss you, us and all those times we had. it's going to be a year soon i guess? and when i did badly for pracs, i wish i could call you and complain about them. if not, i wish you were still with me so that i could rush to your flat and get those warmest hugs of yours. even though you suck sometimes, you were my pillar of happiness.

the break up explains why i lost interest in shopping. at least my babes could dress up to make themselves look smoking hot in front of their guys. i've no one to show to and please, i don't bother to walk past mats to attract their attention. hahas.

and we all know even if we try again, the feeling is not there anymore. i was tooooooooo HURT i guess ):

and i'm so lazy to start dating, because i think they are typical and boring.

something that i read, and i wanna share. somehow that was how i felt months ago.


do you ever just hear a persons voice, the one person you care about more than anything in the world & as soon as you hear his voice you start to cry, because right there is the one thing, the one person who means everything to you & you’re so happy that they’re in your life but yet you’re so upset because you don’t really have them, because you’re only friends & yet you want so much more out of the relationship but you know that you’ll never get exactly what you want.you know that you once had the perfect relationship with this person & now all you are is best friends, & that breaks your heart every time you think about it.

do you ever listen to that person ramble on about troubles with girls & just want to shake the hell out of them & tell them that the perfect girl for them is standing right in front of them ! that you are the one who loves them more than anyone could ever love them.

do you ever feel like you know things would be so much more better if they would just realize that the person they’re really looking for is right there in front of them, that while they're going out with other girls the one who is standing here waiting for them & always will be is you.

do you ever just wish that you could get the fact that you love them & nobody else into their heads & when you try to tell them this they just think you’re joking or you mean it just in a friendly way !? but you don’t because really you mean it with all your heart, you mean every single word of it but they just don’t seem to get it.yes, this person has broken your heart many times to count but with every last bit of your poor broken heart you love them more than anything !

do you wish that just for one day things would go back to when you two were together so just for one single day you could truly be happy again because ever since that horrible break up nothing has been the same but you want it back so badly. & when you see that some girl is hurting them does it hurt you ?

do you ever cry yourself to sleep at the thought of them getting hurt by some girl who will never love him like you do ?

because I do .. I cry at the sound of his voice because I’m happy & sad at the same time.

• I wish for so much more out of the relationship,

• I wish he'd understand that ill always be here waiting for him because out of everybody he means more to me than anyone else.

• I wish that he knew when I say I love him I really mean it with every piece of my heart.

• I wish that things were back to how they used to be. & just knowing that some girl has hurt him makes me cry because I care about him so much & I don’t want anyone to hurt him even though he has hurt me countless times, I cant stand to see him get hurt .. that right there is love.

its when you have millions of different emotions racing through your body all at one time. its when you care about this person so much that all you want is to see them smile, to see them happy even if he's by someone else’s side & some other girl is the reason he has that smile, as long as he’s happy you’re happy. & you know that you’ll always be apart of his life because you’ve always been there for him & you’ll never forget about him because he is the only boy you really truly love, he’s your best friend & you’ve been through so much with him no one could ever replace him .. ever, you love this boy & you know you do, he holds a place for you in his heart, & you hold a place for him in yours, you’ll never forget this boy .. never