grueling school days

i'm back to pour out my woes. i'm not in the right frame of mind and everything's in a whirl. my brain's malfunctioning. 

anp practical was probably a breeze for at least half of the class, and i just had to be one of the unlucky ones who was struggling. why do i always end up shading the wrong circle especially when i'm down with 2 options? sighs ): a pass will do and it's more upsetting knowing that most will definitely hit an A. relax, take it easy...... so much of singing that to my classmates to calm them down. HAH! i was super bimbotic that the invigilator had to point my next station despite having arrows that clearly indicated where I should go next and no one had trouble proceeding to the next station except for me. wahhh, such bimboness portrayed.

i foresee more sleepless nights. yes, semester tests are here. seriously, i've never had so many tests before in a short span of time.  i need to psyche myself up for them and really mug this time. and i absolutely disagree to the consensus of the society that polytechnic education is less intricate, less complex, less complicated. MY ASS! definitely not my course. 

used to remind myself that i dont need another half to make me a whole. YEAH RIGHT! i'm greatly dependent on shah for emotional support now. no matter how frequent we squabbled, you've been the most understanding guy ever.

shah has been riding on my bike illegally and it sure feels awesome to be a pillion. so many happy moments. ainngss.. hahahas. shahrudin, the lovely soul with whom i become enamoured. CHEYYYY!!!

one of my favourite girls, syra, has flown to sydney to further her studies a few days ago. the bestest of lucks from me to you babe. and i'm still clinging on to the hope of being able to study with you again.

i took approximately 3 hours to blog this. i wish to blog about the sushi buffet with shah, the movies we've caught, how shah became my hairdresser for the day and definitely all the pent-up frustrations that i had for the past few days but im too tired.



if only mistakes could be erased completely, my mind will be at ease. these bad memories that stick to you like glue, they scar your heart so deep and never will it heal.  and lately, i've been having mental images about you and her and they appear in my dreams too. the scenes felt so real, you looked so much happier. like a secret rendezvous. and i wake up every single day, my heart hurts tremendously, as though someone has just given me a huge blow on my chest. self-inflicted pain? is that the term being used? i don't know. i'm having problems gathering my thoughts, and my sentences here are incoherent i know. what's wrong with me? ):

sometimes i find myself looking deep into your brown eyes to find the answer to my uncertainty.